Sweet Child O Mine by Ruby Isle - Guns n Roses cover

MR BROWNSTONE by RUBY ISLE (Feat. Doggy Bounce Dog)

Paradise City by Ruby Isle - Guns and Roses Cover

ODE TO SPRING

Spring is in the air and not a moment too soon. The days are getting longer & the warmer weather is slowly coaxing us out of our winter sleep chambers. Still groggy from our hibernation ritual, we venture outside the familiar cave walls and into the bright, bright, sunlight. We leave behind the safety & comfort of our beds & the companionship of our pets. We leave behind a mundane existence of robotic emails, monotone voicemails, and cowardice caller ID. We leave behind a kingdom ruled by recliners, remote controls, and low blood sugar. A world of discarded fast food containers and bad DVD rentals.  A world devoid of what Rick Springfield would call " the human touch". We have been sleeping entirely too much and for entirely too long. Some of us have been drinking more than usual, some of us less, but most of us have been smoking far too many cigarettes, lighting our next one off of the butt of the one we just finished smoking, and choking on it, we press on....and on and on and on and then it all goes away quite rapidly, so easily, deliberately, unwittingly numb we all tend to agree. We must learn to embrace despondency. Endlessly, effortlessly, we must learn to embrace despondency. It is time to step outside for some fresh air & some exercise.....we fumble for our sunglasses and prepare to re-join the human race, already in progress.

One Hit Wonders or "How I Learned To Stop Worrying & Love The Song"

Lots of bands and artists have been the "Biggest Band on Earth" for 10 or even 20 minutes consecutively....The Police, Wang Chung, Duran Duran, Flock of Seagulls. ABC, The Fixx, Haircut 100, Wham!, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, The Escape Club, A-Ha, Saga, Kim Carnes, Kim Wilde, DOA, (the English disco band not the Canadian punk band) Crash Test Dummies, Kings Of Leon, Lady Gaga, The Darkness, Coldplay, 311, The Killers, Black Eyed Peas, Live, Chumbawamba, Jet, My Chemical Romance, Dashboard Confessional, Dave Mathews, Stained, Creed, Switchfoot, POD, Marilyn Manson, and yes even Lubricated Goat. Still, mysteriously they have all graced the covers of every major music and media magazine, albeit magnanimously, methodically, and with mounting momentum, melding their mediocre mainstream marketing moxie with their murderous musical malice simultaneously...and inadvertently creating the masochistic, mundane, monstrosities that we have all come to know and loathe. And really, one has to wonder, why all the "One Hit Wonders?"

Now I am not saying anything disrespectful about those bands...I absolutely love Men Without Hats with their song "Safety Dance", Modern English's "I'll Stop The World", and who could forget Cutting Crew's "(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight". I have a great idea! If you are going to make a career out of just one song, please make it as cool and funny as The Vapors song "Turning Japanese". I really think so, think so, think so...

So write at least three good songs. Or more. Make 'em all great if you can. My songwriting mantra is as follows: 1) Every Song For Itself. Easy enough to decipher...Do not use formats or formulas. Example: Ian Astbury from the Cult sings about 'fire woman, you're to blame' and 'fire woman' as well as 'smokestack lightning' in at least three songs. He must have a really great weed connection! Or maybe the Fire Woman is his songwriting mantra. Who knows with that guy? 2) Don't Do Filler. Never record, release, or perform a song that is underwhelming or not up to your songwriting standards. Sounds tough but is as easy as pie once you get the hang of it. Be your own worst critic so we (audience) won't have to be.

Oh yeah, and the single most important songwriting key for me personally, is to take LSD at least twice a year, preferably in public, at a high profile event that most people would NEVER even smoke weed before, let alone FRY. Think weddings, court appearances, job interviews, front row at the Minnesota Opera, or my personal favorite: Getting my photograph taken with uniformed police officers. I started doing this when I was 18 at a tiny strip mall near Mira Mesa High School, my alma mater. Believe it or not it was at the donut store! Thanks to Steve Huber for that first photo! I have been doing it ever since....nearly 26 times over the years in a half dozen major American cities, 11 small towns, on Naval Air Station Miramar with the MPs, and once while I surrendered a switch blade I found to 4 of Minneapolis' Finest while they ate lunch at the now non-existent Perkins in Uptown, Minneapolis. Do not try this without reading my pamphlet entitled " Getting Your Picture Made With On Duty Cops While On Acid" Take care kiddies!

The downward spiral towards 'old age'...

SHORT VERSION:

Shane the Pain here with a vital message to my subscribers....I lost my glasses 9 days ago and am unable to see my computer to write, social network, return messages, etc. I am farsighted & cannot see ANYTHING with any accuracy within 3 feet of my face....Please know that I will re-connect with all of you as soon as I can.

LONG VERSION:

On January 23rd I went to celebrate the 40th birthday of a friend at Grumpy's in North East Minneapolis. The temperature here had lifted from the low teens/single digits we had been experiencing all the way up to 36 that night! Warm for us, but, not all fun & games...my date & I decided to ride the bus to the bar to avoid the pending hydroplaning/sliding festival that was sure to ensue when the predicted rain storm hit. Besides, the birthday gal's last name was Vader so I wore a Darth Vader helmet and mask, a leather trench coat that would make Jon Bon Jovi envious, and even carried a working light saber as a prop. "I am your father..." I said to the birthday gal as I entered the bar.

It was sloppy and wet when we left the party. As we made our way through the streets to the bus stop, both Jen & I slid on some ice, lost our footing, and landed on our asses in the middle of the street in a puddle that was 6-8 inches deep! We were soaked, shivering, our egos bruised & battered, and on top of that, we had just missed the last bus for the next 51 minutes...

I only noticed that my glasses were missing (from the top of my head) after we had hailed a cab and were well on our way to our uptown apartment. Arrrgh! The next day I went back to the 8-block perimeter where we had slipped & slid through on our own personal version of "Ice Capades" and looked for my glasses. The temperature had dropped after midnight, it had snowed an inch or so, so all of the puddles were frozen AND covered with a fresh snowy layer. Plus, it is always hard to find your glasses without wearing your glasses~!

What is the point of deception?

I just started filming for a documentary called "Recreation" tonight at my apartment. It is a doc about drug abuse & covers everything from heroin to acid, ecstasy, meth, weed, and on down the line to cocaine & alcohol, too. I am excited about the outcome & will share some rushes as soon as I can. Please tell your friends about this blog & quote it often.....Shane the Pain